Negotiation 101: The Basics
With Colleen Graffy, former US Deputy Assistant of State for public diplomacy for Europe and Eurasia, law professor at Pepperdine university Caruso school of law.
Colleen has taken a 9 month course and condensed it into three 30 minute sessions for our members to learn “The Art of Negotiation.” In the first of this three part series, Colleen will explore the foundational aspects of negotiation, and why it is necessary. She emphasises the importance of negotiation as it is used in both our personal and professional lives.
What is Negotiation?
In Colleen’s terms, negotiation is: “a strategic communication process to get a deal or resolve a problem.” She highlights the need to recognise negotiation as a process which has seven steps (which might not be linear).
Preparing and setting goals - the most important and most overlooked step. It is necessary to think deeper and consider what you really want
Initial interaction and offers
Exchanging and refining information
Bargaining
Moving toward closure
Reaching impasse or agreement
Finalising the agreement
The Role of Conflict
Colleen recognises that while most people want to avoid conflict, it can function in a positive way in how it can motivate and inspire you to take action you wouldn’t normally take. Conflict is divided into two categories: Interpersonal conflict which is between groups and people, and Intrapersonal conflict which is when an individual might be conflicted internally with how to prioritise their interests. Unless you deal directly with an intrapersonal conflict, you won’t solve the problem or at least you will just solve it temporarily.
“The wise negotiator will attempt to seek out the right time to negotiate".
The term “ripe” is used here to represent “a stage of conflict in which all parties are ready to take their conflict seriously and are willing to do whatever may be necessary to bring the conflict to a close.” Colleen notes you can inspire the other side by presenting potential gain for why they would want to come to the table.
The Negotiation Triangle
This is made of up of 3 E’s: Emotional, Extrinsic and Economic. Colleen unpacks this triangle, explaining it is often economic reasons that bring people to negotiate. Extrinsic factors are often about reputation and emotional factors are often in terms of what the loss will be. To be a good negotiator, all three need to be considered in order to resolve what is at the heart of the conflict.
The Role of Perceptions
“We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are”
The Talmud
“Your subjective experience can be true but it is limited because it doesn’t account for other truths and there is not a totality of a single truth.” Conflict is subjective as different sides will have different vantage points. “You endow what you sense with meaning,” Colleen explains, but “everyone has their own background even if they are from the same culture and we consciously filter things in order to maintain a psychological balance.” She recommends telling people to think of you as much as you will think of them.